Comment by Harborough churches: Valentine's Day card or no card, you are loved

Viewpoint by the Revd Pep Hill, Associate Priest in the Harborough Anglican Resource Church Team

Are you looking forward to Tuesday, with dreams of red roses, romantic meals and wild passion? Or are you dreading Valentine’s Day?

I remember as a girl the shame of having to admit that I hadn’t received any Valentine’s cards, seeing it as proof that I wasn’t loved.

Of course, that’s complete rubbish – I was loved by my parents, my friends, my wider family and, although I didn’t know it at the time, by God.

Our society rates romantic love as the thing to be desired above all else, and our emotions and drives fit neatly into that narrative – how could anyone possibly be happy if they don’t have a “soul mate”? But this idolising of the romantic couple is relatively new and plenty of cultures have different ideas. The divorce rates also challenge the notion of “happy ever after”.

And what if our life partner has passed away? How on earth can we ever celebrate Valentine’s day again?

So, having agreed that Valentine’s day is a Very Bad Idea, what do we make of our very human need to be loved? I think it’s a foundational part of our make-up – both evolutionarily necessary but also as part of God’s bigger plan for humanity. After all, didn’t God say in the Garden of Eden, it is not good for a human being to be alone? But having a sexual partner is not the only way to be not alone – and sometimes we can feel utterly alone, even if we have a loving partner.

God created us to be in community, to love and to be loved, but not necessarily in a sexual relationship. We are not second class citizens if we don’t have a partner – and we are not redeemed if we do have one. Our value doesn’t come from having a wealthy, good-looking, powerful spouse. It comes from our position as a daughter or son of God, made in the image of God.

We are created to be in relationship with God our creator, who promises we will never be alone, that he is always with us. God loves us so much that he entered into his creation in order to die for us, to destroy the damage we had done to our unity and to restore the relationship with him. And Jesus would have died for you if you’d been the only person in the world. So if the Creator of the world thinks you’re worth dying for, I think you can safely say that, card or no card, you are loved.

Revd Pep Hill is Associate Priest in the Harborough Anglican Resource Church Team